I hereby declare this day to be International Troll Day on Plurk!
There must be something about the autumn equinox (also today) that makes the trolls all come out to play.
Last night, someone posted on three otherwise relatively innocent threads on Plurk where there were lively conversations ongoing. However, when he was engaged in the discussion by the others on the thread, he began to hog it, throwing out as many as five to six posts each time in a seeming effort to prove that he was erudite. In the end, he ended up hijacking two of the threads (it seems he lost interest in one of them). Subtle hints got nowhere as he threw out half-baked dictionary definitions, highfalutin theories, and refused to accept any point of view not his own. For everything said to him, he came back with a "yes but" answer. Even an outright statement that he was hijacking the thread earned the poster a reply several posts long, defining the term "hijack" and outlining the reasons and technicalities proving he was not "hijacking" the thread. In the end, the people who originally posted the plurks got fed up and blocked him.
Did this stop this person? No, sirree. He then made a plurk thread of his own, expressing his anger and frustration at the people who blocked him from their threads and intimating that they were closed-minded persons who denied him his freedom of expression by their actions. "But they are public plurks and anyone may post in them!" he pointed out. When people explained to him, tactfully at first, that his attitude may have turned people off, he began justifying his actions in verbose detail. No one else was correct but him. He was the only right person in the world and everybody else was wrong, yet, he insisted, he was keeping an open mind.
Finally, people stopped taking his arguments seriously and went to his thread to poke fun at him instead because his antics were now verging so much on the ridiculous they were absolutely hysterical if they weren't frustrating.
Poor person. He seems to have been infected with troll-itis, as he is exhibiting unmistakable troll-like symptoms. Rather pitiable, really. All that he could see was this perfect image of himself in the mirror, unable to break away from the prison of his own reflection, not knowing that he was only looking into the Mirror of Erised and not a true mirror.
The funny thing is that, even as by his acts he seemed to long for validation of his perception that he was wise, knowledgeable, and erudite, he ended up looking like an imbecilic robot in the eyes of all else around him. One plurker whom he had alienated described him as "a sentient bot with no common sense" in frustration. He was like something with an output port but no input port... many things came out, but nothing could go in.
Poor thing. In real life he wouldn't have any friends, as he would alienate them all. But then who said trolls had any friends anyway? They are sufficient unto their own existence and need no one but themselves.
In the end, there is only one way to deal with a troll: to fall back upon the tried-and-tested Internet adage "Do not feed the trolls."
With the 2010 elections coming up, I was happy to see the beginnings of intelligent political discourse by Filipinos on the Internet, aside from the ones I overheard at the sari-sari store at the corner, at the jeepney terminal, and between even my neighbors across the street as they did their laundry by our front steps.
On Plurk, plurksters engaged in lively political debate the likes of which you rarely see outside the academe or even in the hallowed (or hollowed) halls of the legislature nowadays. From debates on Noynoy Aquino's fitness for the presidency, to whether or not he is just riding the media hype, to approbation of Winnie Monsod's grilling of Mikey Arroyo on TV, to reactions to Ping Lacson's exposes, I was beginning to think that yes, perhaps Filipinos are truly waking up to their obligations and responsibilities as citizens.
Then recently someone threw a spanner into the works. To a thread discussing why Noynoy Aquino is being grilled over Hacienda Luisita while Villar is not being asked about the C-5 "insertions," this 17-year-old girl who called herself "Iena" retorted,
"ang pnakamagandang tanung e!!bkt kau namr0mr0bLEma niAn???di nga namr0bLema ung g0byern0 e!!"
For literate persons, what she said was, "The best question is!! Why are you people worrying over that? The government isn't even worried!"
EPIC FAIL.
Today, in the midst of a discussion of Ping Lacson's exposes, this 21-year-old female who called herself, aptly enough, "karenderia," (I am reminded of Vilma Santos's immortal "Para kang karenderyang bukas sa lahat ng gustong kumain (You are like a cheap diner that is open to all who want to eat)!") interjected,
"ang dami niong alam.. dami niong galit sa mga pulitiko wala ka namang naambag sa pilipinas"
Again, for literate people, she said, "You people know too much.. You are so angry at politicians when you haven't contributed anything to the Philippines."
Asked if she had contributed anything, she confidently answered that she had. Asked to enumerate her contributions, she retorted that there were too many to fit in the thread. And expressed joy at having "stolen the scene (agaw eksena)" in the thread. Although she seemed to have raised a point at first, her answers became more and more jeering and sarcastic, so that people on the thread chose to treat her as a troll and ignore her.
Perhaps I am only exhibiting what one of my Law professors once called "intellectual arrogance." Perhaps I am only being arrogant and blind because of who and what I perceive myself to be. But it is frustrating to engage people in serious discussion if they choose to ridicule the process. Frustrating and sad to see that there are people so caught up in their own images in the mirror that everything else without them in the center is a subject to be ridiculed. That there are people like those who suddenly enter and disrupt a discussion, no matter how serious, just to attract attention to themselves, without anything intelligent to contribute to the discourse. Suddenly I fear for the future generation, a generation that can't even spell and seems not to know proper grammar. Will they all grow up to be as shallow and silly and egocentric, caring for nothing else but their clothes and their gadgets and the pettiness of their lives? Will they be sheep, complacent in their silly, shallow lives, not knowing or caring what happens around them until the holocaust sweeps them away without warning?
I know I could look at them as objects of ridicule, of contempt. I could laugh at the silly, ignorant, unwitting sheep. But I want to cry instead.
It all started with a simple haiku...
Kel Bell ipinamamahagi Haikus are easy / But sometimes they don't make sense / Refrigerator
posted on August 24, 2009 at 09:15AM
...and everyone else chimed in with their own creations! LOL I love you plurk.
August 24, 2009 at 09:17 Space Ghost oh, life is so hard | but it's much harder to make | haikus that make much sense (LOL)
August 24, 2009 at 09:18 SingingBlogger (LOL)
August 24, 2009 at 09:19 yogajane It's really easy / Write whatever comes to mind / Serendipity
August 24, 2009 at 09:20 Space Ghost i wanted to sleep / so i will go to sleep now / goodnight, most cruel world. (unsure)
August 24, 2009 at 09:21 MaroF'nCharim there's no other tree / in every inch of this land / like bananas, hearts
August 24, 2009 at 09:21 Judd Bakit walang sense / Anong punto mo dito / Haikus are the shit
August 24, 2009 at 09:23 SingingBlogger Haha OMG / At least you make good haikus / Congratulations. :-P
August 24, 2009 at 09:24 Kel Bell sinasabi One peso load left/ My fingers are getting numb/ Msg Sndng Failed.
August 24, 2009 at 09:24 MaroF'nCharim i start with five breaths / for the next i add two more / then i start over
August 24, 2009 at 09:24 Kel Bell sinasabi We should save this for Friday and all talk in Haiku on that day. LOL.
August 24, 2009 at 09:25 Judd I eat doughnuts LAH / I love chocobutternut / I ate too much LAH
August 24, 2009 at 09:29 yogajane Without a peso / Check operator service / Man, that's a bummer!
August 24, 2009 at 09:34 Tsukasa Kel started this / creation of nonsense haiku /you then made some, too.
August 24, 2009 at 09:37 Judd Sex on fire, oh shit / Liar liar pants on fire / I had my pants on
August 24, 2009 at 09:42 Judd Colorful rainbow / Araw, dalawang ulap / OHA Batibot
August 24, 2009 at 09:43 Tsukasa is soooo blogging this (evilsmirk)
August 24, 2009 at 09:43 Rhi kohh I forgot to / count the correct syllables / what I'm doing?
August 24, 2009 at 09:44 Kel Bell sinasabi We've known each other/ We are no strangers to love/ We both know the rules
August 24, 2009 at 09:45 carlos22486 sinasabi wtf is this / i dont know what haikus are/ tayo na sa beach
August 24, 2009 at 09:45 Judd Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah / Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah / Yeah... yeyebonel
August 24, 2009 at 09:47 yogajane The blogger in me / Is so amused by all this / Writers turned poets
August 24, 2009 at 09:48 carlos22486 sinasabi hindi ko kayang tanggapin/ na mawawala ka na/ sa akin bwiset!
August 24, 2009 at 09:50 Kel Bell sinasabi Mulat ng mata/Ang langit nakatawa/Ito ang Batibot.
August 24, 2009 at 09:52 carlos22486 sinasabi tayo na magsaya/doon sa batibot la/ tayo na tayo
August 24, 2009 at 09:52 Judd Nagugutom me / Magdi-dinner na ba you / Tsibugbugan us
August 24, 2009 at 09:54 caffeinesparks how cool this here plurk / it has brought hilarity /colonoscopy
August 24, 2009 at 09:56 Judd My heart will go on / I'm too fly to be depressed / Let's go to KL
August 24, 2009 at 09:56 Kel Bell sinasabi Thirty-five thousand/ Hey, that's our frigging money!/ Stop pigging out, please.
August 24, 2009 at 09:57 Kel Bell sinasabi I saw FG Mike / Riding in his Mercedes/ Oh, look! Pork and Benz!
August 24, 2009 at 09:57 Tsukasa As more people / enter this impromptu haiku making thread/ my blog post gets longer.
August 24, 2009 at 09:58 yogajane (lmao)
August 24, 2009 at 09:58 Judd Sasakyan kita / Sa lahat ng gusto mo / Sasakyan kita
August 24, 2009 at 09:59 carlos22486 sinasabi eto na eto/ guilty feet got no rhythm/ hayden kho ftw
August 24, 2009 at 09:59 yogajane To Tita Cory / Hindi ka nag-iisa / You're with Ninoy na
August 24, 2009 at 10:00 Judd Bakit masakit / First time mo ba oh baby / I'll be gentle na
August 24, 2009 at 10:01 carlos22486 sinasabi bineberocha/ andrew e in the house y'all/ bineberocha
August 24, 2009 at 10:01 Tsukasa I probably will/ edit the more explicit haikus later/ wholesome ang blog ko eh. :-P
August 24, 2009 at 10:02 caffeinesparks hey i want to ride / a big shiny bicycle / shining shimmering
August 24, 2009 at 10:02 Judd O, magang muscle? / Nagkapili-pilipit / Na parang tali?
August 24, 2009 at 10:03 carlos22486 sinasabi hindi ako bakla/ kla-kla-kla-kla-kla-kla-kla/ di ako shokla
August 24, 2009 at 10:03 caffeinesparks oh my gulay oh / this plurk now adult rated / i wait breath bated
August 24, 2009 at 10:03 Judd You know, water's good / There's something better, you know / Vitwater, you know
August 24, 2009 at 10:03 Kel Bell sinasabi Aladdin is pimp/ He is like a shooting star/ He has come so far
August 24, 2009 at 10:04 Judd Oh hawak kamay / Di kita iiwanan / Sa paglalakbay
August 24, 2009 at 10:05 carlos22486 sinasabi tayo na sa beach/ tayo na at mag swimming/ bilisan mo na
August 24, 2009 at 10:06 Judd I am a beggar / I wield sticks and plastic forks / Alms or I'll stab you
August 24, 2009 at 10:06 caffeinesparks isang libo't isang / tuwa buong bansa haaa / eat bulaga haaa
August 24, 2009 at 10:07 Judd Boy masahista / Siya'y nanghipo ng bakla / Siya'y natuwa = gay
August 24, 2009 at 10:07 carlos22486 sinasabi siguro si judd/ sa haiku ay eksperto/ let is raine amen (LOL)
August 24, 2009 at 10:08 Kel Bell sinasabi Hindi ko alam / Ang binibintang mo diyan / Aba, malay ko?
August 24, 2009 at 10:08 Judd Nasaan kaya / Nawawalang pag-ibig / Sa Singapore ba?
August 24, 2009 at 10:08 caffeinesparks hala naku ha / maubusan ng haiku / di na matawa
August 24, 2009 at 10:09 Kel Bell sinasabi Quiet ka lang, ha / Mas cute ka sa ate mo / Secret lang natin
August 24, 2009 at 10:09 carlos22486 nawawala nga/ sa singapore nga ba la/ o sa malaysia?
August 24, 2009 at 10:09 caffeinesparks come out come out please / whoever you are come out / master baiter please
August 24, 2009 at 10:10 Tsukasa Aba mistervader / sino na naman ba ang / bagong prospect mo? (thinking)
August 24, 2009 at 10:12 Judd May classmate ako / Binato ng tatay niya / Porkchop sa mukha
August 24, 2009 at 10:12 caffeinesparks tama na kasi / mag-diversify ka na / wag lang chinita
August 24, 2009 at 10:12 Kel Bell sinasabi Akin na lang yun / Di niya naman ako type / Di bale na lang
August 24, 2009 at 10:14 Tsukasa di bale na lang / di bale na lang ba/ di bale na lang?
August 24, 2009 at 10:15 Tsukasa Aba mistervader / bilisan mo baka maubos ang/ chinita sa mundo :-P
August 24, 2009 at 10:17 Judd Sa Oktubre na / Makikita ko sila / Birthday ko rin 'yon
August 24, 2009 at 10:20 Judd Me and my burger / Sa burger patty parin / Nagkakatalo
August 24, 2009 at 10:30 Judd Natikman ko na / Di ako nasarapan / Lecheng kape 'yan
August 24, 2009 at 10:31 Judd gusto mong short-time? / Fine, sasamahan kita / Sa Mahal Kita
August 24, 2009 at 10:31 Judd Ayoko nito / Naaadik na ako / Sobra na ito
August 24, 2009 at 10:32 Tsukasa Go Judd / Kaya mo pa iyan / isang haiku pa.
August 24, 2009 at 10:33 Judd Magliligpit na / Six-thirty na, sobra na / Uwian na Judd
August 24, 2009 at 10:34 Judd Time to go, babay / Iiwan ko na ang Plurk / Mamaya ulit
August 24, 2009 at 10:35 Judd Mag-iisip pa / Pero sa papel muna / Nang di mawala
August 24, 2009 at 10:36 Judd Liempo at sisig / Kare-kare at sabaw / Barrio Fiesta na!
August 24, 2009 at 10:36 Judd Para nang tanga / Wala nang mga tao / Nagpu-Plurk pa 'ko
August 24, 2009 at 10:37 Judd Goodbye, time to go / I'll have dinner now before / Everyone leaves me
August 24, 2009 at 10:38 Judd Oops nagkamali / "I have to go now before" / That is what I meant
August 24, 2009 at 10:38 Judd Pati corrections / Leche, naka-Haiku rin / Haikus are stupid
August 24, 2009 at 10:39 Judd Therefore I am too / I am stupid, I know it / Me and my haikus
August 24, 2009 at 10:41 Judd Karmang sixty-one / Sisilipin ko bukas / Mukhang tataas
With all that is happening around us nowadays, would you want to go to sleep and never wake up? Would these reasons listed below be sufficient to wake you up, or would you want to go on dreaming?
Original plurk post: Please wake me up.
Replies:
Wake up!
Nagresign na si GMA.
Martial law na ulet.
Binaril si Mike A.!
...nakailag si Mike A.
Ambush daw ng Abu Sayyaf.
Humiram daw ng anting-anting kay Revilla, siya lang buhay sa ambush.
Sumulat ng libro, best-seller *pakshet*
At dahil martial law, required reading ng mga bata.
Resulta: Binago lahat rules ng mga old school games (taguan, patintero, piko, tumbang preso) dahil lagi ng nandadaya ang mga bata
at ang ethics classes ginawang petiks classes
ang valedictorian ang pinakatuso sa exams
na abolish na ang GMRC classes sa elem
kailangan mong maglagay sa tindera ng karinderia para bentahan ka ng bananaque
sabay-sabay nabomba batasan at malacanang at patay na lahat ng pulitiko kaya kelangan mag-elect ng bago
(eh dream come true naman yan laya e. bangungot ang hinihirit namin ditoh
eloisa lalong di magigising yan kung binabangungot
true true... back to dream sequence)
nagtutulungan na mga tao. lahat umaayaw na sa lagay
may cure na ang lahat ng STDs, kaya back sa era of free love
at AIDS, specially AIDS
lahat ng tao, wala nang problema sa pera or sakit or overpopulation or lack of any type of resources
(teka... rapture na ata to eh)
lahat ng pamilyang Pilipino may katulong na taga HongKong or Korean
kami katulong namin Amerikano, driver Arabo
konti nalang gumagamit ng EDSA, lahat kasi connected na ng hi-tech na Train System, hangga Baguio
mga tanders lang yan, the rest teleports to jupiter and mars
pag-kakain sa fastfood, pede ng cellphone ang pang-save ng upuan habang umo-order
at walang nagnanakaw ng cellphone. pagkat nakakabit ito sa robotic arm
--------------------------
This originated from a plurk post by mari and participated in by quintessential, eloisa, gilbz, Alyas Torpe, and yours truly.
You know you're really lonely when...
You check your crushes on their Facebook accounts daily in hopes one of them turns single.
You want to go out and when you call all your friends they have plans to go out with their respective partners.
You try to watch a movie with some friends, and you end up watching it after torrenting it instead;
Or you end up in the cinema alone and getting annoyed at the lovey-doves all around you;
Or you second-guess rejecting the guy who tries to make an indecent approach on you in the cinema.
You ask people out to watch the latest movie with you. By the time you find someone to go with you, the movie is already on HBO.
You're literally the odd man out in a group thing. Everyone goes with their S.O.'s, you go alone. Guess who gets to be the driver.
You meet a guy you'd like to know better... but he's already taken 
...or he's gay.
The last person you held hands with turned out to be a guy.
Your ex-boyfriend is already married and has kids.
Your ex would rather get with a guy who looks like a frog because at least, he's Chinese.
You decide you also want to look like a frog because of that. 
You go online and look for someone to talk to when you realize that all the people you know are busy with their lovelives.
Or they talk to you... until their S.O. comes along.
You don't have anyone to spend the big holidays with (Holy Week, Undas and Christmas)
It's Valentine's day and all the other girls around you are carrying bunches of roses... so you buy a bunch of roses for yourself.
You plurk and nobody replies
Prostitutes pity you so much, they pay YOU to talk to them.
You send yourself text messages and pretend it's from someone special.
Your ex is around and you pretend to be talking to a significant other on your cellphone
Your ex is around and you pretend to be talking to a significant other on your cellphone -- and then your phone rings!
You keep telling girls you like who find boyfriends na "you're happy for them", but you're stifling a tear.
Your boss doesn't have any compunctions about asking you to do a lot of OT work because she knows you won't have anything else to do anyway.
You actually LIKE to OT because it helps you forget you're alone.
You end up being treated as one of the guys instead of, well, an interesting girl.
You're beginning to envy your old computers. At least sila, meron pa ring compatible.
You begin to hate listening to those Saturday radio programs where people ask for love advice... coz you have nothing to ask advice for.
You contemplate pulling a Mrs. Doubtfire just so you can teach in ICA.
You give a name to one of your pillows, the most huggable of them.
And... You sleep with pillows all around you.
You repeatedly go into malls para magpakapkap sa mga lady guards. (naku! iba yun ah 
When you have a picture of your hand in your wallet and you are starting to think about proposing to it.
You get invited to an occasion and others bring their significant others. You bring your younger siblings.
Your idea of a "wild night" is videoke.
When you hear the word date you think of a desk planner and not a person... Hence, March 25 is a "hot date".
---------------------------------------------------
This is from a Plurk thread started by Mistervader and participated in by yours truly, stuplurkdous, KimOfTheWorld, and jesterinexile.
It's still a work in progress, I think. LOL.
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